63-Year-Old Single Gay Male

Arthur Keith
5 min readJan 21, 2021

But Don’t Call Me Daddy!

Me. Photo Credit: Me.

“people say shit like it gets better, but what they mean is

there’ll always be haters only you’ll be older” — Richard Scott, SOHO

“What’s up?”

“Sup?”

“How’s it goin’?”

“Send me nudes.”

“Send me dick pics.”

“You’re too old for me.”

“Daddy?”

Photo by christian buehner on Unsplash.

This is what my dating life has been diminished to. Whether it’s Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam, or myriad other “dating apps”, the opening lines are always the same.

Come on, guys. We’re gay! Can’t we come up with something a bit more creative?

“What are you into?” always gets my goad the most.

“Well, you idiot”, I say, “if you’d read my profile before you opened your mouth, we’d be halfway to my bedroom by now!”

It seems that profiles on these sites are more for the writer than the reader. In my experience, it’s all about the visuals and not the words.

RN — or Right Now — is the second most annoying aspect of the apps. Most of us (over the age of 30) are not able to drop what we are doing to go have sex. So you shouldn’t be on the app if you’re not looking for RN? I’ll use the apps however and whenever I want.

Navigating the straits of singledom has become 50 times more difficult since I was last alone in 2010. Back then, which is not that long ago, we didn’t have apps that told you how much dick was available nearby — or possibly at the table next to yours in a restaurant!

At that time, most of us were checking out the sites from our desktops or laptops. Sites like “Manhunt”. For serious relationships or dating, there was match.com. (“Try it, it works!”) While Match is still around, this space has become so splintered that the app icons can’t even be contained to one page on your phone.

Him: “Are you top or bottom?”

Me: “Can we talk about some foreplay, like making out, before we go there?”

--

--

Arthur Keith

My goal is to inform, educate, & entertain. 8x top writer: LGBTQ, Music, Climate Change. Directionally dyslexic--pointing is fine! You can clap up to 50x!