Member-only story
63-Year-Old Single Gay Male
But Don’t Call Me Daddy!
“people say shit like it gets better, but what they mean is
there’ll always be haters only you’ll be older” — Richard Scott, SOHO
“What’s up?”
“Sup?”
“How’s it goin’?”
“Send me nudes.”
“Send me dick pics.”
“You’re too old for me.”
“Daddy?”
This is what my dating life has been diminished to. Whether it’s Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam, or myriad other “dating apps”, the opening lines are always the same.
Come on, guys. We’re gay! Can’t we come up with something a bit more creative?
“What are you into?” always gets my goad the most.
“Well, you idiot”, I say, “if you’d read my profile before you opened your mouth, we’d be halfway to my bedroom by now!”
It seems that profiles on these sites are more for the writer than the reader. In my experience, it’s all about the visuals and not the words.
RN — or Right Now — is the second most annoying aspect of the apps…
