Stuck

Albeit I ran a few errands which were inane in nature, (one being Bed Bath & Beyond to buy a dish rack because I forgot to ask if there was a dishwasher when I moved in here), these are the first words I’ve been able to utter on this article since I wrote the headline this morning — a good six hours ago. I feel pretty stuck in all ways.

I haven’t lived without a dishwasher since 2000. Nice going, Art.

One of the first things I do every morning — because everyone on medium.com says you gotta read more than you write — is read. I’m trying to get through a ton of articles on medium.com itself, as there is a lot of good advice. Unfortunately, I first landed on an article that had to do with how long it takes to get over a lover after a breakup. Basically, the article said it takes half as many years as you were together to “get over it”.

What is he doing, what is he thinking, is he seeing someone new, does he think about me at all?

Just last week, I declared to myself that I was over it. That I was in the final stage of grief (acceptance). But right at about that very time, memories of him flooded into my every thought. They’ve not stopped for the most part. I ask the same question over and over: “how could you do this to me?” Sometimes I get teary. This stops me in my tracks, and I instinctively go to the place where I feel the safest: my bed. I then rehash…