When You Lose A Parent

If you’re alive, it will happen, or it already has

A son’s hand clasps his mother’s. She was gone just hours later—photo by Mercurywoodrose on Wikimedia Commons.

It can start with something as little as a slight pain or as dramatic as a hard fall. Our parents may be with it “up there,” but their poor little bodies become weak and frail. Whereas the body of a car usually outlasts the engine, the opposite is true of humans.

No matter how your parent starts to decline, the result is always the same. That’s a hard pill to swallow. Life can be prolonged, but at what cost?

This story may be a bit premature. She’s still alive! Is “pre-grieving” a thing? Have you ever gone through anything like this? I wonder how many plan funerals before an actual death. Apparently a lot, as I just received a funeral planning guidebook from a mortuary in her home town.

My mom is 89, and she’s had a remarkable life. She is still with me, but I can see the tide starting to turn.

Several months ago, she began to experience swelling in her legs and feet. I, at least, wished it away, and away it went.

Now it is back with a vengeance, and she has to keep her legs elevated for several hours a day. This is obviously putting a dent in her quilting work.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked her if these symptoms were a part of something greater, and she casually said “heart failure.”